passion.

Most recently I have experienced loneliness. And i sound like i havent felt that in awhile, and its true. surely NOT because i am not, but because i dont allow myself to feel that freedom. its okay to be lonely. because its so important for me to learn it. to sit in it. and to dwell in its sweet frangrance of freedom. and the freedom im talking about is that oneness with God. 

i know some people will disagree with me, or my imagery of this feeling. trust me, i’ve felt the darkness of this emotion intimately. i know its pain. i know its dullness. i know its grief and hopelessness. too. but as i take a step into moving into my own place, loneliness is a word that keeps wandering the paths of my mind and thoughts. and ive shared with close friends to me, i fear it. im afraid i wont smell the sweetness of it. but only taste the bitterness like before. or even so that i cant be alone with myself. 

i know im taking the right step. to move in alone an practice solitude, and quietness, and builiding a new community around me. but in a lot of ways, its my OWN journey. and it will be a good one. people have been challenging me with the ideas of “finding my passion”. and ill tell ya, ive been living passionless for awhile now. good ideas consume me, social justice flows in my veins, but what exactly am i doing about my passions? or better yet, what are they? 

i fear they will be like everyone’s else on pinterest, or instagram. the things i actually enjoy are popular hobbies. and so i wonder if what i love doing is actually that unique. AND IT IS. i want to start a business somehow. which was never something i thought was in the cards for me. and who says that. 

me. 

well its time to prove myself wrong. and to adventure into what i like and sharing it with those around me. and doing so with confidence because i am only me. and thats enough to inspire others. to do something good. and plant inspiration. 

 

xxx